What really counts?

Photo: Funeral of the 13-year old Qasem al-Mughrabi, who died from starvation in a Palestine refugee camp in Damascus.

The United Nations no longer counts the number of victims of the war in Syria. A disturbing message. Numbers are not everything, but they do have a meaning. The significance for me is not the exact number, but the word ‘victims’, is a reminder that every day people are losing their lives due to extreme violence. Among them many innocent people.

As the conflict in Syria is escalating and cynicism about an end of the war is increasing, the level of violence seems to be overwhelming. Or is it the size of the numbers that makes us feel powerless? Figures have lost their power of expression, it seems. Are we losing count because of the increasing complexity of the conflict and care less about individual suffering?

For me it is also the question of how and whether I personally can relate to a figure of more than 100,000 deaths. That number is so massive that I it goes beyond my imagination. I can hardly relate to such an abstraction. Maybe I just do not dare to relate to it because it makes me desperate and powerless. I just cannot stand in solidarity with more than one hundred thousand people…

On the other hand, the image of that one individual death touches me even more. The life of that one person, that one other human that is broken. That one man or woman or that one kid with a face and a family in which I myself, recognize my wife or my child. That is something I can relate to and feel that I want to act upon. Call it a form of ‘small solidarity’ that is still possible and that counts. A form that is valuable because the value of large numbers is elusive and the impact of the small number becomes impressive. It is that one life whose value is innumerable and invaluable.

We started this year with a counter that stops in Syria, mass graves in South Sudan and we have stopped counting the dead in Iraq for much longer. Cynicism is lurking. Why doesn’t this violence end despite our good intentions and efforts? What should we do to make the peaceful spirit of Christmas concrete in this new year? Which great world leader will stand up and call the world to order? Who will be our new living inspiring example of leadership now we no longer hear Mandela speak? And if politicians do not do so, what can we expect from religious leaders, including the charismatic Pope Francis?

Maybe real power is in the small approaches, in my belief in the value of small solidarity. In my refusal to accept that the next dead child does not count anymore. I refuse to let my cynicism get the upper hand; and I will not be paralyzed by the big numbers. Because if I distance myself and become indifferent, what does that tell us, what does it mean? If the death of one other human no longer matters to me, do I still count?

Maybe this year, I am not going to look for the great men and women who can be an inspiring example. Maybe I will be looking for the so-called small people, who are victims of war, fighting against the injustice of the great powers. In the hope that this inspires me and encourages me to continue doing what counts. Daring to keep on counting.